Understanding who the woman of Proverbs 31 woman truly is
This article is a bible study that will help you to understand what is a proverbs 31 woman and what God wants you to learn from her story.
As a single Christian woman, I have to admit the Proverbs 31 woman didn’t catch my interest during my studies of the Bible. And when I became a newlywed, it still didn’t.
It also didn’t help that every sermon and teaching I’ve ever heard regarding the woman of Proverbs 31 often concentrated on the wife and motherly role. Nothing wrong with this. I was just in a different stage of my life and found it irrelevant at the time.
Here I was pursuing my career while navigating the mountains and valleys of life. I honestly felt that I could relate more to David. I had giants to slay and an empire to build.
That is until God gave me a different perspective.
I had grossly misunderstood this story and the message that God has been (and still is) trying to convey through it. And you might be too.
Years have gone by since I first read this story in the Bible and I’m so sad that I missed this important lesson. However, that doesn’t have to be you! Because no matter who you are and what stage of life you’re in, the story of the Proverbs 31 woman is for you.
Allow me to explain the true meaning of the Proverbs 31 woman just as God explained it to me.
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The Proverbs 31 woman explained
Yes, she is the woman of Valor, the virtuous woman, and the wife of noble character. However, before we can get a better understanding of who the Proverbs 31 woman is, let’s talk about who she’s not.
When reading the story of the woman of Proverbs 31, it may feel as if you’re automatically hit with a standard of perfection.
As human beings, our natural tendency when we’re presented with something impossible, something we are incapable of doing, is to avoid, shut down, or tune it out.
In some form or fashion, this is exactly what happens when some of us hear or read about the Proverbs 31 woman—the seemingly perfect female.
Many women today are overwhelmed with the variety of hats that must be worn. Between careers, relationships, motherhood, etc, we find ourselves scrambling for a few moments of “me time” during the day.
So when you’re doing your best with what life is throwing at you and you study the Proverbs 31 woman, comparison and inadequacy have the possibility of creeping in. We find ourselves trying to live up to the “standard” of a godly woman by being a good wife, a good mother, a good businesswoman… a good whatever.
As a result, you may find yourself feeling burnt out from trying to be everything…perfectly. So here’s the truth that God wants you to know.
In Proverbs 31 woman is not perfect and she is not some standard of perfection that God wants you to aspire to. God would never place a story for your teaching and instruction in the Bible about perfection when this isn’t even an expectation that He has for you. If He expected perfection, then He wouldn’t have needed to send Jesus.
Another thing that may not be obvious is the fact that the woman of Proverbs 31 is not a real person in the Bible.
Biblical scholars believe that Solomon contributed to the majority of the book of Proverbs. In this particular chapter, Solomon shares words given to him by his mother in regard to what he should be looking for in a wife.
As a king with the responsibility of leading God’s people, His mother knew that who He married and who he associated himself with matter. Hence, her warning
Do not spend your strength on women, your vigor on those who ruin kings.
Proverbs 31:3
Instead, she points him to the type of woman that he should be looking for to accompany him on his journey through life.
The Proverbs 31 woman is a fictional character that a mother used to provide guidance to her son. But, that doesn’t make her story less important. Led by God, Solomon’s mother was dropping gems for him and generations of men and women to come.
So what are those gems and how can the modern-day woman relate to the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31? We’ll cover that next.
What does being a Proverbs 31 woman mean?
If we go back and read about the woman of Proverbs 31, Ruth, Leah, and any other woman in the Bible, you will notice that these aren’t the fictional stories of Disney movies you saw as a child. You know the one where there’s a damsel in distress, the guy is the hero and the two live happily ever after.
A deeper dive will show you that their stories are actually centered around each woman’s relationship with God. It’s not about getting the man and living happily ever after. It’s getting into a relationship with God and living happily ever after with Him in eternity.
One of God’s highest priorities is for you to know Him and come into a relationship with him. The Proverbs 31 woman is a glimpse of the life of a woman who honors, serves, and obeys her Father. In doing so, everything else in her life falls into place.
This is not to say that life will be perfect if you follow Jesus, but it will be perfect for you and oh-so worth it.
We cannot fully understand what it means to be a Proverbs 31 woman until we evaluate the qualities that Solomon’s mother laid out for him in what to look for in one.
Qualities of the Proverbs 31 woman
The Proverbs 31 woman spends time with God.
She rises while it is yet night and gets [spiritual] food for her household and assigns her maids their tasks.
Proverbs 31:5-AMPC
She gets up to pray and spend time with God before her household awakens. She is seeking God’s wisdom and guidance at the start of her day.
This is something that the modern-day woman can relate to. With all that we have to juggle, it’s easy to get overwhelmed and drop some balls. But, what if God is saying, this ball doesn’t even need to be in the rotation today.
We know that he gives us a measure of strength, grace, and knowledge for each day to complete our tasks. And like the Proverbs 31 woman, we want to use our resources wisely.
Taking this into account, I’m learning to sit before God and ask Him what needs to be done each day. Thus, like the Proverbs 31 woman, I’m getting spiritual food and instruction for each day. And in His presence, I am strengthened, comforted and prepared to go about my tasks.
If you want to learn more about spending time with the Lord, check out my other blog post on it.
The Proverbs 31 woman is a good steward of what God has given her.
The next verse sheds more light.
She considers a [new] field before she buys or accepts it [expanding prudently and not courting neglect of her present duties by assuming other duties]; with her savings [of time and strength] she plants fruitful vines in her vineyard.
Proverbs 31:16-AMPC
So many of us have full plates and it seems that the world around us just keeps wanting to add to it.
As an extension of her spending time with God, she has the wisdom to know what to say no to and what to say yes to. She knows that by saying yes to too many things (especially those things that her Father has not called her to) she is doing a disservice to herself, her family, and those she is meant to serve.
However, when she does say yes, it’s because she is guided by the spirit of her Father. She relies on his strength and wisdom to plant those fruitful vineyards.
The Proverbs 31 woman cares for her spiritual as well as her physical and mental health.
She girds herself with strength [spiritual, mental and physical fitness for her God-given task] and makes her arms strong and firm.
Proverbs 31:17-AMPC
There are 3 components of the health of an individual, in my opinion. They are mind, body, and spirit. The Proverbs 31 woman ensures that all 3 elements of her well-being are taken care of.
If you expect to run your race efficiently and faithfully to the end, you must take care of yourself in this hectic world.
Practice self and soul care. Spend time with God to feed and strengthen your soul. Something as simple as going to bed at night and getting at least 30 minutes of cardio each day can do wonders for your physical and mental health. And of course, choose healthier food options as opposed to fast food and sugary drinks.
The Proverb 31 woman guards what God has given her.
She tastes and see s that her gain from work [with and for God] is good; her lamp goes not out, but it burns on continually through the night [of trouble, privation, or sorrow, warning away fear, doubt and distrust].”
Proverbs 31:18 AMPC
As stated above, the Proverbs 31 woman is a good steward of what God has given her. Being a good steward of your resources also means protecting them.
God brought 3 scriptures to mind when I was reading this.
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it
Proverbs 4:23 NIV
Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
1 Peter 5:8 NIV
The parable of the 10 virgins found in Matthew 25:1-13. In summary, there are 10 virgins, 5 which are called foolish and 5 that are wise. They take their lamp to wait for the bridegroom. While the wise ones took oil for their lamps, the foolish did not. The foolish ultimately had to go buy oil and while doing so missed the bridegroom.
No doubt the Proverbs 31 woman was living during some chaotic times. I presume today’s age is worse. However, the principle still stands.
Satan is still on a mission. That mission is to kill your dreams, steal your identity, and destroy your purpose. Just like the Proverbs 31 woman, you must stay on your guard while protecting your heart as you watch for the return of your Savior.
In the parable of the 10 virgins, the Proverbs 31 woman is like those that are considered wise. She ensures that she and her house are in line with the word of God.
She doesn’t allow the enemy to ruin what God has called her to by allowing fear, anxiety, and insecurities to deter her. She is confident in the Lord and His ability to guide and protect her.
The Proverbs 31 woman stands firm in God’s protection.
She fears not the snow for her family, for all her household are doubly clothed in scarlet.
Proverbs 31:21
There are a few other verses where scarlet is mentioned in the Bible.
unless, when we enter the land, you have tied this scarlet cord in the window through which you let us down, and unless you have brought your father and mother, your brothers and all your family into your house. If any of them go outside your house into the street, their blood will be on their own heads; we will not be responsible. As for those who are in the house with you, their blood will be on our head if a hand is laid on them.
Joshua 2:18-19 NIV
This is what the Israelite men told Rehab after she hid and protected them when they came as spies to the land of Jericho.
When Moses had proclaimed every command of the law to all the people, he took the blood of calves, together with water, scarlet wool and branches of hyssop, and sprinkled the scroll and all the people. He said, “This is the blood of the covenant, which God has commanded you to keep.” In the same way, he sprinkled with the blood both the tabernacle and everything used in its ceremonies. In fact, the law requires that nearly everything be cleansed with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.
Hebrews 9:19-22 NIV
As her house is said to be doubly clothed in scarlet, it is protected by the Spirit of her Father. Her prayers of love, protection, and peace are heard in Heaven.
The Proverbs 31 woman clothes herself in God’s righteousness.
She makes for herself coverlets, cushions, and rugs of tapestry. Her clothing is of linen, pure and fine, and of purple [such as that of which the clothing of the priests and the hallowed cloths of the temple were made.]”
Proverbs 31:22 AMPC
Other verses that mention clothes of fine linen include Revelations 3:5, Revelations 19:8, and Revelation 19:14. In all instances, being clothed in fine linen is a symbol of God’s righteousness.
And we know that God will never let the righteous be forsaken nor their children begging for bread (Psalm 37:25). We know that His eyes are on the righteous and his ears attentive to their prayers (1 Peter 3:12). He will never let the righteous be shaken (Psalm 55:22 NIV).
The Proverbs 31 woman trusts in God.
Strength and dignity are her clothing and her position is strong and secure; she rejoices over the future [the latter day or time to come, knowing that she and her family are in readiness for it]!
Proverbs 31:25 AMPC
As a woman who knows who has and will always sit on the throne of Heaven, she can rejoice over her life and the life of her family. No matter what curveballs life may throw, she knows that her Father has fully equipped her and is working all things together for her good.
The Proverbs 31 woman is trustworthy, respected, and honorable.
Her husband trusts her fully.
Proverbs 31:11
Much like Ruth, she has a respected reputation throughout the land due to her character and the fruits of her spirit. A spirit that is in tune with the spirit of her Heavenly Father.
The Proverbs 31 woman has a good attitude about life.
She looks well to how things go in her household, and the bread of idleness (gossip, discontent, and self-pity) she will not eat.
Proverbs 31:27
The Proverbs 31 woman watches the company that she keeps. People who gossip often tend to be discontent and idle people. The Proverbs 31 woman is not one of them.
She is more concerned about the things of God and not the happenings of this world.
What is the requirement of a Proverbs 31 woman?
The only requirement for you to be a Proverbs 31 woman is to seek the heart and will of God. When you do this, God will handle the rest.
Remember this is not a story for comparison and it’s not a story to teach you how to be perfect. There’s no such thing as perfection.
It’s a story that shows you what a woman who honors and obeys God looks like. When you’re obedient to the Lord putting him first in everything you do, God will in return honor you. And nobody can do it like Him.
How do I know? Look at the stories of Joshua, David, Solomon, and Ruth to name a few.
What does a Proverbs 31 woman look like today?
The world is vastly different from the world Solomon, David, and Ruth lived in during biblical times. There have been advancements in human rights, technology, and culture.
Despite this, I would suffice to say that the world we live in today is just as difficult if not more compared to biblical times. Social media is just one beast that Satan can wield to exert chaos in the world.
However, God and His word have not changed, nor will they ever. If we take examples from the word of God, a Proverbs 31 woman today looks like a woman who honors God.
As the saying goes, if you want to know who someone is, look at their fruit. The modern-day Proverbs 31 woman produces fruits of love, joy, peace, righteousness, and gentleness. The spirit of God is evident in her words, behavior, and choices.
She is not one to gossip or conform to the culture that goes against the word of God. The Proverbs 31 woman of today stands on and is strengthened by the word of God serving Him and those around her.
Final thoughts on what it means to be a Proverbs 31 Woman
Whether married or single, the story of the woman in Proverbs 31 is for every woman and man of God. These scriptures are not meant to intimidate or lead you down the path of comparison. They are meant to provide you with the key to wisdom, success, and righteousness.
The woman of valor is only able to do and be all of these things (seemingly flawlessly) because she honors God. It’s not her, it’s God acting in her life.
Hence,
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised
Proverbs 31:30
Hope you were blessed by this. Until next time.
-Dr. Jay
But, before you leave! Have you checked out our Proverbs 31 Christian candle?
God and I handpicked the scent of luxurious linens and amber to emulate the woman of Proverbs 31. The beautiful scent of fine linens signifies the clothing of righteousness.
They come with encouragement cards (messages of encouragement from God) and are meant to elevate your quiet time with God, self-care routines and the decor of your home. They also make great gifts.
Check out our Proverbs 31 Christian candles here.
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